Recently I have learnt that by not expressing myself and my emotions, I have been dealing with it by being frustrated with myself. I have been thinking about others' feelings without considering my own. I never felt so much hatred in my heart. And I never thought I could consume all that. I hate this feeling of anger,hatred and betrayal.
Really. All I want to do is live in harmony. If I don't interfere with your life,then please leave mine alone! I think I'm done being like this. If anyone wants to kill each other and start World War 3,then let them be. My life is too short for me to waste it on these silly things that doesn't even matter.
I'm letting go of my past. And that includes EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that doesn't matter. I'm letting go of this hatred coz I know it can only bring harm to others. Besides, I have known a certain someone who can't appreciate the life that was given to her. And I don't wanna be like that. I have learnt from her mistakes and I hope one day,she will too. Aaamin.
It's not right to feel this way and it's also not right to let others step all over me. So from now on, I'm gonna go back to my old ways. Where nothing bothers me except someone who matters. Furthermore, they are the only one who really cares. So why should I neglect them? ;)
As for that certain someone,I wish you no harm and all the best in your life. Sometimes I do miss what we had but I realize now that you are never gonna change. So my last wish for you is for you to understand that people have feelings too. It's not always about you. Please,you must understand this in order for you to change.
I'm gonna wait until that day comes when you finally realize what have you done wrongly. I know that you said anyone can give you an advice but truth is, no one really could. Know why? Coz you will only reject it and you will put the blame on others. So until then,I'm just gonna distant myself.
Really, I would love to have my old life back. When we all live in harmony and the only thing that we were worried about was money. and maybe,the final exam. that's all.
If I could turn back time,there are surely some things that I would love to change but then my life would be different right? then I wouldn't have met all of you guys. So really, there's nothing I would wanna change. Even though this is my life now,I still appreciates it just the way it is.
From this day onwards, I'll be calmer,wiser and definitely,stronger. :)
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