I am blessed :)

Life can be hard sometimes. And for some unlucky person ; like myself, there will ALWAYS a challenge coming up n ruins the day. So what do u have to do next? The answer is simple. GET THROUGH IT. When ur life is a big mess, and u feel like a total loser.. Take a good look around u. U have a perfect physical form of a human,u have feelings,u can still think straight and MOST IMPORTANTLY,u still have ur beloved ones to help u through it all. Those are the main factors that should keep u moving forward in life. U should be grateful n thankful for all the blessings that are borrowed to u. Coz u know one day He can take it ALL back. Remember HIM and u will find the strength that u need and more. So, thank you ALLAH for borrowing me the good health and mind. the good sense of taste,feelings and emotion. and most of all, for borrowing me this beautiful life that I could call my own.


I told you...

I told u how messy I could be.
I told u how easy to make me smile.
I told u how i hate to argue.
I told u how NOT special I am.
I told u how hard for me to open up my heart.
I told u how long u r gonna have to wait.
I told u not to stare.
I told u not to miss me.
I told u not to get your hopes up high.
I told u that u might end up heartbroken.

"And most importantly,
I told u not to LOVE me."


Aritu gi holiday ngn family.. then ak teringat.. dlu mse kecik2,slalu spend time ngn family.. gi picnics,holidays, n even mkn kt luar sme2 pn da ckup. Tp skrg ble msg2 da besar, ssh sgt nk mkn sme2 coz da bz. HOLIDAY apetah lg kn? Ramai yg x sedar walau mcmane bz pn kte,kte still kne luangkan mase ngn family coz in the end, dorg la yg akn stick ngn kte. mcm org slalu ckp "blood is thicker than water". So,nak xnk,kte kne rapatkan dri ngn family kte. maybe ade yg slalu gado2 ngn akk,abg or adk dorg. maybe ade yg pilih kasih dlm adk badek dorg. tp in the end,dorg tetap family gak kn? so lme2 nt dorg akn trime dri masing2. In my situation, ak mmg blessed sbb dikurniakan ngn ummi,adik n abg2 yg sporting. n ak bersyukur coz ade dorg. Even ak x cte sume details idop ak kt dorg (coz ak ssh nk open up kt sape2 ),tp still dorg adelah family yg ak syg. N I WON'T TRADE THEM FOR ANYONE ELSE. So,bg kwn2 ak kt luar sne,pls hargai family korg n gnekan mse yg korg ade utk knal family korg. u might surprise urself at how nice it feels to be close to someone u never thought possible ;)

CINTA - Kita memang mengharapkan dia menjadi milik kita. Segala apa yang kita buat, kalau buleh nak dia tahu.. dan kita sebuleh mungkin tak nak sakitkan hati dia. kita akan sentiasa berfikir tentang dirinya. (dalam erti lain : cinta di tujukan kepada seseorang yg kita selalu ingat dan mimpi.. Tanpanya kita akan rasa sunyi dan kita cintakan sepenuh jiwa dengan hati yg ikhlas kepadanya walaupun dia buat tak tau je)

SAYANG - Kita memerlukan dia di masa kita mahukan seseorang untuk berkongsi rahsia dan kisah duka kita. selalunya kita akan sayangkan seseorang yang menjadi TELINGA kepada masalah kita. (dalam erti lain : sayang di tujukan kepada seseorang yang boleh membuangkan masa dia untuk mendengar dan memeningkan kepalanya dgn masalah kita dan kita jugak boleh menyakitkan hati dia kerana kita bukannya cinta kepadanya)

SUKA - Kita sukakan dia kerana dia kelakar. Dia happy-go-lucky. Bila bersama dengan dia, kita rasa nak tergelak sampai nak pecah perut. Tapi, kita taklah rindu sangat kat dia bila tak berjumpa seminggu…(dalam erti lain : suka di tujukan kepada seseorang yang boleh menjadi pelawak kepada kita. Kita akan suruh dia diam sekiranya keng kita dah nak pecah…)

MINAT - Apa sesuatu pada dirinya yang menarik kita untuk mendekatinya.(dalam erti lain : minat ditujukan kepada seseorang yang ada sifat, peribadi atau barang yang kita mahukan… )

Tetapi kita kena ingat bahawa tanpa minat , suka dan sayang kita tidak akan CINTA pada seseorang itu…


Ak terjumpe article ni kt fb.. n ak terlintas.. btol ke ape yg die ckpkn? n klw btol,cmne kte nk sure? hohoho. byk situasi dlm idop kte yg kdg2 kte confuse n rmi yg akn anggap dri dorg tgh "IN LOVE" sdgkn dorg juz minat /syg/suka je. n sbbtu la ak ske article ni. bg sape2 yg still x sure ttg prasaan dorg,pls bc n phmkn ape mksd sbnr "CINTA".


I hate crying.. but recently,it is all that i ever do.. i don't know how n when my heart will heal.. but i do wish it will heal SOONER. the pain in unbearable.

It's as if the whole world is crashing down on me.

How can i describe what i'm feeling right now? I'm feeling low,sad and in total despair. Why does everything have to happen now? It's like the whole world is coming down on me and i'm crushing into bits of pieces. I'm not used to all this. and most of all,i'm not used of being ALONE. Whatever it is,i know i will survive. I got so many dear family and friends who loves me. They are my KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. And I thank them from the bottom of my shattered heart. I'm a firm believer in "whatever happened,it happened for a reason",therefore I'm keeping my optimism mind and just go along where the road might take me. I believe Allah have a good plan for all of us and insyaAllah,EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT. pray for me. please. :(

I'm sick of it!

Arghhh!!! ppl keep asking me questions.And questions. AND MORE QUESTIONS!!!! but i don't have the answer. I know you care but pls. This is not the right time to ask me all those DAMN question! You guys said that u are sad coz it happened. Now imagine how is my condition. The sadness n pain that you felt, multiply it by at least a thousand times. YES. THAT IS WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW. I know you don't see it. Coz i'm not good in expressing my feelings. but pls think logically. Who wouldn't feel sad if things like this happens to them?? I'm tired of thinking what went wrong etc etc. Right now I just wanna let this matter go for a while. I'm not running from my problems,I'm just giving myself some space. I already did everything that I could and right now HOPE is all I have. I'm just a mere human being. So please,just let it be. It will make it easier for bot of us. YOU & ME. tqvm

there's no fairytale for me

i guess i'm not one of the lucky girls out there that can live up to my fairytale life. I used to think that i am blessed cause i have found my other half. But it seems like i'm the only one who think of it that way. Somebody please come and wipe away all of those memories. cause now it only bring tears to my eyes.
I'm devastated. I'm heartbroken. I'm confuse.
Actually,I dunno what happened. It just happen. I'm shocked. but what more can i do? I've given my best n so be it. Right now i'm just looking forward to a better future. and hope that my prince charming will come.
*if he's out there,please come and find me.I'll be waiting.*
but until then,this heart won't open to anyone

Where do broken hearts go?

I was sitting alone when i remembered that song. "where do broken hearts go? can they find their way home?" Those lyrics kept on playing in my mind. and i know why. It's cause i'm feeling heartbroken n weak. I can merely manage a smile on my face. But i don't want others to know how devastated i am rite now. Not until the decision is final. Rite now i'm juz grieving. But i do believe that everything happens for a reason. And for that,I juz keep on hoping for the best. Dear friends,do pray for me too ;(

The truth is...

The truth is...Aku x pernah rse confident kat dri sendiri.. Sume org kat sekeliling aku terlalu perfect utk dibandingkan ngan aku yg xde pape ni.. mereka cukup sempurna n mereka ade kelebihan masing2.. tp aku x nmpk kt mne kelebihan aku.. LANGSUNG XDE.. rse pathetic gle.. haishh. aku hanya mampu tgk je kwn2,cousin2 n family aku yg perfect tu.. aku rse mcm xde tempat utk aku.. aku da try jdk sehabis baik yang aku bleh tp mcm sume usaha aku tu sia2 je. mcm xde sape hargai pun.. sbnrnye aku just nk tgk sket appreciation.. tp maybe aku yang x layak utk dpt sume tu.. tp slalu ak pk,ape motif aku wujud kt dunia ni klw x dpt menyenangkan ati sape2? kebanyakkan mase aku abis ble aku pk psl sume ni.. tp aku sedar.. aku kne bersyukur ngan ape yang aku ade.. just,xde sape pnah tau yg sebenarnye, aku always rase INSECURED....

thanx coz sedarkan aku..

aku mmg bkn ditakdirkan menjadi seorang manusia yang manis mulutnya dan sememangnya x pandai mengarang. haha. selalu dlm blog ni pn aku merapu je. sekadar tempat untuk meluahkan perasaan. tapi aku kagum dengan kehebatan manusia2 plastik yang selalu aku jumpa dalam hayat idup aku yang singkat ni. mereka sangat pandai berkata2 sampai semua orang percaya. mereka pandai berlakon sampai sume orang terpedaya. bilakah sarung plastik mereka akan terbukak atau plastik tu akan menjerut mereka sehingga mati? haha. kejam sungguh ayat aku. tapi aku akui,memang susah nak jumpa dgn org yang betul2 jujur. kalau aku cakap ak nk kawan ngan non smokers je,rmi org akn cakap "jangan berangan laa..sekarang almost sume smoking okeh". tapi aku xnak lost all hope coz ALMOST tu means ade lagi mereka yg kat luar sne yg x smoke kn. camtu jgk ngn plastik people ni. aku nak mereka bukak sume masks mereka dan tunjukkan kat aku muka sebenar dorang. Aku x pernah cakap yang aku perfect. malah,aku jauh sekali lari dari kategori BAIK. aku hanya seorang insan biasa yang tiada apa2 kelebihan. dan aku hanya nak kongsikan apa yang aku ada ni dengan orang yang boleh memahami dan terima aku seadanya. BUKAN berkongsi dengan mereka yang PLASTIK. sebab mereka hanya akan memusnahkan kepercayaan aku terhadap sume orang kat dunia ni. Dulu,ada satu peristiwa yang terjadi. Peristiwa tu menyedarkan aku yang aku sebenarnya seorang yang lurus dan senang ditipu. aku senang dibuli dan juga diambil kesempatan. "DIA" telah sedarkan aku yang x semua orang yang kita rapat boleh dipercayai. "DIA" yang buatkan aku x mampu lagi untuk berkawan dan juga mempercayai sesiapa yang sekaum dengannya. mungkin ramai yang tertanya2 apa yang si "DIA" ni da wat. sbnrnye si "DIA" ni telah menimbulkan fitnah yang x pernah wujud. Aku sedih yang teramat sebab aku yang jadi mangsa. aku x cerita pada siapa2 coz aku xnak "DIA" hilang kawan. tapi xpe.. aku percaya ALLAH lagi sayang kat aku coz sekarang,"DIA" yang merana. haishh.panjang lebar lak aku type ni. n baru aku perasan skema ayat aku rupanya. hahaha. LAYAN JELAAA..


Oh Oh Ohh
I'm Unforgettable
yeah Ohh

[Verse 1:]
You wanted it your way
And boy you know I said okay
Now you only have yourself to blame(whoa whoa)
Cause when we were together
You'd tell me what you didn't like
And now you went out and got "the type"

From the get go
Boy I told you
That she'll never
Give you what you need
But you didn't care
Why you calling me?

So you miss me
So you miss us
More than you ever done before
Why you want me?
You were in love
It was undeniable
So I..
Sit and laugh
While you grieve
Boy you had it your way
you knew this
Before you chose to go
I'm Unforgettable
I'm Unforgettable

[Verse 2:]
Now your heart is aching
And you say you didn't know
But I got to say I told you so
(whoa whoa)
And now you keep saying
That everything has changed
You wanna give it all you got again

From the get go
Boy I told you
That she'll never
Give you what you need
But you didn't care
Why you calling me?

So you miss me
So you miss us
More than you ever done before
So, Why you want me?
You were in love
It was undeniable
So I..
Sit and laugh
While you grieve
Boy you had it your way
you knew this
Before you choose to go
I'm Unforgettable

I had a hard time to believe (umm)
That you choose her instead of me
Well boy just go out and see
But there's no better (no better)
No better than me
(I'm Unforgettable)
No one
No one
Better than me
I'm Unforgettable

So you miss me
So you miss us
More than you ever done before
Why you want me?
You were in love
It was undeniable
So I..
Sit and laugh
While you grieve
Boy you had it your way
you knew this
Before you choose to go
I'm Unforgettable


dh lme ak x tulis pasal DIA kn?

the truth is : I MISS HIM

the fact is : SOMETHING always comes in our way

the solution is : give him his OWN space

salah ke klw sekadar berkawan?

aku x paham laa.. nape org slalu pk negative? kdg2 smpi nk kwn ngn org len pn leh jdk isu. KAWAN. just KAWAN. xde lbey2. sume org kt dunie ni perlukan seorang ataupn lbeyh kwn utk tmn idop die. bak kate pepatah "berkawan biar seribu". then salah ke ak nk kwn ngn org? klw org tu laki skalipn,BIAR LAA. ak fhm situasi ak n ak tau dimane ak berdiri. korg tu yg xtau pape n pandai2 nk reka cerita n konklusi sendiri. bagi la ak idop ngn aman. ak x kacau idop korg,then nape korg nk kacau idop ak?? susahla manusia camni. x bleh tgk org idop sng sket. trus melatah nak jatuhkan org tu. ish3. wat ak speechless jek


u came into my life..
just when i thought that i'd never believe again..
u showed me something that i've never seen before..
u make me smile whenever i feel like crying..
u became one of the reason that i started to open up once again..
All of a sudden..
u have taken my pain n u gave me ur hand of friendship..
never thought i'd say this but I HAVE FINALLY FOUND MY BESTFRIEND.
And i thank u for everything that u have done for me..
i hope that this feeling would lasts for eternity and we would be best buds till the end.


aku da PENAT!

Hei,kamu! sy da x kuase la nk jaga hati sume org. Kerenah kamu lg byk berbanding ngn baby yg baru lahir. Emo x tentu pasal. marah2 je yg kamu tau. Bile angin kamu dtg,sume org kamu nk tibai. kamu igt kamu tu sape? org len pn ade hari yg trok jgk tp try la to control ourselves. Kamu ske fikir negative psl org len tnpa usul periksa. Kamu takot nk berhadapan dgn masalah yg kamu cipte sndri. kamu igt sy xtau kamu kutuk belakang sy?? sy bkn bodoh la.sy cume dlm mode "IGNORE" sbb sy nk kamu sedar dgn sndri. kamu pilih kasih tp sy x penah kesa. sbb kamu still kwn bg sy. tp kdg2 hati kck ni sll bertanye "nape die wat ak cmni???". Kamu tau x yg sy da pnat? sy da x larat lg nk thn sume problem ni. sbb masalah sy byk lg. bkn masalah dgn kamu je. masalah2 len tu lg penting dr lyn kamu yg remeh! Sy igtkn kamu kwn sy,so sy pn percaye la kt kamu. rupe2nye kamu la musuh dlm selimut tu. Kamu xtau ape sbnrnye yg terjdk dlm idop sy sbb kamu x pernah amk kesa. Kamu x pernah tnye masalah yg sy hadapi. sbb ape?? sbb kamu rse dri kamu je penting. sy btol2 da give up utk convince kamu sbb sy tau kamu xkn percaye kate2 sy. kamu igt sy da lupe ape kamu wat pd sy?? silap laa. sy bleh maafkn tp bkn melupakan. sy igt dgn jelas setiap perkare2 dlu. tp sy x kesa sbb kamu kwn sy. cume kdg2 kamu x aggp sy mcm kwn. kamu x sdar kamu pijak kepale sy. kamu lyn sy mcm kwn SANDARAN. kamu hanye cari sy ble kamu keseorangan. kamu igt sy x sdar? sy sdar la sume tu. tp sy ikutkn dan pekakkn kate hati sy. cume skrg ni da terlambat. kamu btol2 menguji kesabaran sy. kamu kate kamu da puas bersabar tp sbnrnye,kamu x pernah bg peluang kat sy. Adakah kamu tahu betapa peritnya perasaan sy?

The final STRIKE!

I've been trying to hold on.
I've been trying to understand.
I've been trying to held it in.
I've been trying.
I've been trying.

And now I'm falling.
Into a deep dark mess.
And you can't even notice it.
I'm sick of trying.
I'm bored of crying.

I've given my best.
And now everything is up to YOU.

I want you to need me

I want to be the face you see when you close your eyes
I want to be your fantasy
And be your reality
And everything between

I want you to need me
Like the air you breathe
I want you to feel me
In everything
I want you to see me
In your every dream
I want you to need me
Like I need you

I want to be the eyes that look deep into your soul
I want to be the world to you
I just want it all
I want to be your deepest kiss
The answer to your every wish
I'm all you ever need

More than you could know
And I need you
To never never let me go
And I need to be deep inside your heart
I just want to be everywhere you are....
I feel BROKEN.

I feel SAD.


Why can't you understand that I want things to stay just the way it was.

If love is purchasable,would you think that you buy it?

If it is offered at the counters,would you think that it will be this PRECIOUS?

Everyday all people ever seems to think about is love. NO. They don't say it out loud. But it is an issue that is always playing at the back of their mind. We all are just mere human beings. We need tender loving care. We need someone to accept us just the way we are. We need a hand to hold and believe in. So,if love can be bought (theoretically) would you think people will still be obsessed with it? And if u buy it,to whom shall you give it to? Forgive me for my childish and out of this world fantasies. But I couldn't ignore this fact : We all need LOVE just like we need oxygen to breathe. And so,this idea pops out.

LOVE is just a four letter word but it means so much more to us. Some people says that they don't need love and they are content with what they have.
But why are they still searching for love?
Because we just need someone to lean on.
Someone to be there for us each time we fall.
Love is this context not only refers to a partner. It can also be referred to a friend.
Love from a friend is where it all began.
Don't you think so?

First step : You know each other.
Second : You get to know each other better.
Third step : You become best friends.
Fourth step : You start to feel that something inside your heart.
Fifth step : THE CONFESSION.

These are the steps that often take place in a relationship. And it is something beautiful because without knowing each other first,how can we be certain that "he is the one"?.

There are another four letter word that gives the total opposite meaning : HATE.
It is the feeling that blinds everything else. When we hate someone,we seems to ignore the good facts about that person. We can only see the bad things.
Hate is when we don't want to hear their name being mentioned.
We don't want to see their face coz you feel like vomitting after that.
We don't want to be in their presence. AT ALL.

But with love,it's a total difference.
We want to be in their presence.
We want to see them laugh.
We want to talk to them.
Even seeing that person from afar can be give us the total calmness that we seek.
We want to know everything about them.
When they smile at us,we feel like they just give us wings to fly.

( all this thanks to my observation of my dear friends.hehe)

LOVE is a powerful urge that if not protected well,can turn into HATE.
So if you think that you might hate a certain someone, you better make a move.
Hate don't give us any advantage. but Love does.
So keep on loving and don't stop searching.

Something unexpected

Something happened. Something I never tot possible. I'm beginning to trust again. Although my guards are still up,I can't help but to trust this person. Should i or shouldn't i? I don't want history to be repeated again. but i just can't help myself. Is it too soon for me to say? It's just too good to be true. Like destiny wanted this to happened. But I'm afraid to take the chances. It's so odd that everything is soo smooth and warm. It's like i'm gonna have a new bff. And i like it. Hope this will lasts longer or better yet,lasts forever. I miss the feeling that i can rely on someone. I don't know it yet,but Allah sure have it all plan for us. :)

The way we were

I often wonder about our used-to-be friendship. And I wonder more often about the path that YOU chose. The friendship was so beautiful and we were so close. But you had to stab me in the back. Tell me why? The sorrows are endless and you suddenly becomes meaningless to me. Just so you know,IT IS OVER.

We can never be the way we WERE.

No matter how you say it,no matter how you see it,it shall never be reversed. I trusted you and now the bond is broken. how can you repair something that was so fragile to begin with? Now things are shattered and you are left ALONE. Yeah you read it right. You are alone and I'm still happy with the one I love. So tell me who's the fool in this game? It have been you all along. Emptiness and loneliness will once again be your company. And I do not pity you this time. Coz you deserve it. I never told anyone about what happened between us ; just as I promised you. But if one day the truth comes out,I hope that you won't run away. Or be a tongue twister and twist the whole story up. AGAIN. Man up and admit that you ARE wrong. As for me,I want nothing to do with you anymore. You shall be a memory of whom I should never have trusted.

Talking about love

Being in love is a beatiful thing isn't it? That is why most people ever think about is LOVE.LOVE.LOVE. Sometimes they ignore the feelings that they have because they are afraid of the consequences. But sometimes they are too frank about it until everyone knows. Which one is better? It depends on the situation. If you are sure that person is interested in you too,Then by all means,shout it out LOUD. But if that person is not sending the signals that they should've send,then just shut up since you might mess up what you had before. I know I'm not an expert in all of this stuff but I learn from others' experience. Being in love with someone doesn't mean that you can have them. You should be happy for them IF they choose someone else that can make them a lot happier than you can. Although it is heartbreaking but that just the way things are. And it is a lot nicer too since you can still be close to them other than be apart for the not-so-important reason. Sometimes you do feel the urge to tell that person what you really feel. You want to show them how much you care and so on. YEAH,I do know how that feels. But then,it's not your time nor your place to speak up. Hold on until the moment come. And if the moment never comes,then maybe you are not meant together. MAYBE. Keep in your mind that everything happens for a reason. And you should just adopt it. Allah have a better plan for us. You just have to believe.

I just can't take it anymore

I went home today and didn't expect to see my lovely cat,zorro to be suffering. He was diagnosed of having stone and should have it removed. I don't know the procedure but when I went home this afternoon,he was already in stiches. and also blood. He couldn't move. And he SHOULDN'T move. But he is just a cat. How can he understand that he was supposed to be resting and take his medicine. It was so hard watching he suffer. At first,I can still handle it. But seeing him move along with the pain,made me feel all his emotion *i know he's just a cat!* Then later tonight,which is just 5 minutes before I wrote this entry,I went to the kitchen cause I wanted to see how he was doing. He was crying *I know I can't understand him but I just felt it in my heart* and it that did it! I broke down crying in front of his cage. I'm not the type who likes to cry and so,THIS is a bit emotional for me. I can't bear the thought of losing him. Even he is just a cat,he have been with me all the time *when I'm at home*. He always came to me and sleep in front of the couch while I'm watching TV. And he knows when I'm sad and so,he would come and cuddle. I know it may sound rather foolish to certain people but to me,he IS important. He is my family and forever will be. I just hope that he will recover SOON. VERY SOON. For any of you reading this,please pray for his health. It would be a real help for me. Thank you very much.

*warning* this entry might have some gibberish talk

Don't u just envy someone who can wear almost anything and still looks good in it? Well,I do! Some people are just born with perfect figures,perfect aura,perfect attitude *haha.u know what i meant* They can pull off anything and people would still love them anyway. Sometimes I envy them but most of the time, I just HATE them. ngahaha. Jealous much. For instance,you make some trouble together but you were the only one who'll get blame for it. WTH?? Their "persona" seems to dazzle everyone around them. And so,people always neglect the fact that they ARE doing something wrong. As for the fact that they can wear the most ugly stuff and still looks HOT in it,well,I blame it on their D.N.A.But some people just wear their cloths with their attitude. Do you know what I mean? Ok. ok. It's like this. They most probably don't have the prettiest face and body but somehow when they wear something,they make the item looks like it's made just for them. How I wish I can pull it off like that. haha. I don't think I can do that and sell garments. LOL. There's always something wrong with what I wear and it's not the clothes fault. It's ME. I seems to lost my X factor somewhere in the sea. someone please find it back and send it to me so that I won't look like a total mess. hahaha. *as if I even HAD it* Waah. such nonsense I'm blabbering about right now.


New experience

I never worked before. and it's NOT because I'm too lazy or whatever. It's jz bcoz my ummi is quite protective. huu~ I don't know where I got the idea from but I am now running a business. *chewaahh.sounds so fancy* hahaha. I always love to sell item to people and recommend good stuff or places to others but never knew there's actually a work for it. haha. And it's actually can provide me SOME money *not many k.some* Although it is not so profitable but I like it cause I'm learning and evolving. I got to try something new from different perspective. Before this,I love to took the time to compare the prices and search for cheaper price. and then I'll get better bargain. But now,I can make an income out of it. How awesome is that?! haha. But I have to admit la. I'm always a C>H>E>A>P>SHOPPER. hahaha.I was brought up that way and I'm proud of it *wink wink* But there is a negative thing going on here cause now,I can't think of anything else other than my business! haha. If I'm not a student,thet wouldn't be a big of a problem. In fact,it is a criteria of a will-be-successful-entrepreneur. But since I'm a student,it doesn't give me much advantage as I have to focus on my studies first. huu~ The only advantage that I gain is the income & experience. But who knows,it might be what I needed in the future.


Friends,you say?

Ever heard the term "friends for life"? How many of you have find your true friends? haha. It's easier to pronounce than to actually find one. I'm glad i've found mine. & I'm glad I realize it before it's too late.

Once upon a time,looong ago,I used to be in groups of friends.Skipping one to another group just to fit in. The problem is,I fit in with ALL of them. But the issue here is,once I was in their GROUP,they felt like I was their's and I couldn't be friends with other people. That is totally childish rite? I love to make friends and so naive at that time. So I never even KNEW that I was their group or whatever. I made friends with everyone around me. Although i'm not that friendly,haha. But the problems arrise as some of them don't like what they see or what they heard. And then they will go and talk behind my back. *as if i don't know laa*

Those were difficult times coz nobody dared to be honest. And so,I knew right then that they are NOT my friends. As a friend,we need to be honest with each other. Maybe SOME white lies are in order and acceptable but TALKING BEHIND each other's back aren't cool. At all! Saying awful stuff doesn't make the person feels better either. Talk to your friends gently and resolve the matter. It is not so hard you know? You don't need to be childish and immature. Friends are supposed to KNOW their friends well enuff to know how they are gonna react if you said something. *wow,now i sound like pakar motivasi* and Friends are supposed to know the honesty and criteria of of their own friends. If there are a black sheep in one of ur "friends",cast them aside coz they are NEVER gonna change. Batu api is never good in a relationship and most of all,FRIENDSHIP.

But it was all long time ago and I have learnt so much since then. I now know the diamonds within the sands. So it's no use to fool me again. My friends are for keepers and they are the treasure that i adore. For haters out there, I may not be as pretty,skinny,rich,clever etc etc as you are,but at least I got something that u'll never have. HONESTY.


You were supposed to be there when i needed u. but u weren't. Instead,u let go of my hands long time ago. I only ask for my own right and somehow you blame me. you put all the insults and shove it to my face. You should have known better than to break a heart. I have no faith in you anymore and don't you dare blame me for what happened! You were supposed to be wiser than me. After all,you have travelled the world and you are a religious man. DISSAPPOINTED beyond words.

p/s : xde kne mengena ngn bf ak.haha
the holidays are ending *SOON* and I just dun wanna go back. hahaha. Soo typical ME. Living at home means more veggies & TV time. spending time wit my family (Ummi,lil sis n big bro). Not to forget my kitties time. Aww. I'm surely gonna mish them! wanna see their pic?
Zorro is sleeping peacefully in my arms.haha.mcm bantal je ak nih!

Jojee wat aksi manje die. mke innocent jek! ;p

Tadaa~ ni la my kitties. manje n nakal. && love to pose for the camera! Soo NOT like me. huhu

Moving on with my post,I really dunno what to babble about but i just wanna write sumthing.hahahaha.What to do after i reached melaka? here's the list. hehe

1. Watch Eclipse
2. Wait for Avatar (legend of Aang) to come out
3. Meet HIM

opps! probably should put him 1st rite? hahaha. ok2.. revise it..

1.Meet HIM & frenssss
2.Watch movie(S) together
3.Have fun & lotsa laugh
4.Stu-DIE-ing :'(

I'm not looking forward to num 4! hahahaha. But as always,I'll manage it somehow.

New resolutions? NO MORE DRAMAS! Whoever gets in my way,I'll jz pretend lk they dun exist. My life would be SOO MUCH BETTER without you & ur pathethic nonsense. This sem,I'm gonna spend it wisely with the ones who truly cared about me. & we are gonna billions n jillions of funs together. *wink wink*

Have you ever..

Have you ever wonder about the world?

Why there are so many things that human take for granted. Such as trees,animals,environment,clean water etc,etc. *wahh..somehow i can't stop but feeling like a speech-er.LOL* We all live in this world every second,every minutes and every hour without having to pay for our clean air and water. Do you ever wondered what it would be like if we were to pay for every breath that we take?? OMG! That would be a disaster. But that thought have came to my mind before. And truly,I'm AFRAID. Have you realised that every thing use money nowadays? *of coz u have but i still want to ask.hee~* And it wouldn't be a big surprise if SOMEDAY,we would have to pay for EVERYTHING.

Have you ever feel alone in bed?

When your world goes wrong and nobody's there with you and you can't help to feel alone. Your worst thought came to mind and you curl in your bed wanting it to just go away. But it doesn't. Your mind wonders about so many things until you can't sleep anymore or IF you do fell asleep,you got that nasty nightmare.

Have you ever wonder about your food?

You were eating some delicious meal at a cafe and you think "this food is awesome! I wish I can cook like this!" *usually my thoughts.haha* You think about the ingredients all those not-so-important-stuff-to-think-while-you-were-eating thingy.

Have you ever cried or smile because a song?

While you were jumping happily when you're in love OR when you are sad beyond words..then suddenly a song plays that fits perfectly in your situation. And you smile,blushing OR cried weepingly because the lyrics are too perfect for what you are feeling at that EXACT moment. The words just came out like you would've said it. And you wish you could.

So,have you ever?

unexpected LIFE

One day you are rich,famous & fabulous but the next day you could be the total opposite. Isn't it scarry juz to think of it? Life has it's own way to give us lessons and most of the time,it HURTS. We have to learn it the hard way and nobody wanna go through it alone. *at least I know that I don't*

For instance,you admire this person from afar. You get to know that person. You guys get pretty close and you thought that that person have the same feelings too. But ONE DAY,that person tell you that they are in love with a certain someone. OUCH! That has to hurt rite? *for the first time,I'm not talking about my own experience*

Since in primary school I always console people about their problems *I'm not bragging k.tq very much.haha* Most of them have difficulties in LOVE. Although I'm no expert in this area,I just tend to lend my ear and listen to their heart contents. Then I'll give them my honest opinion. *I'm not joking. I tell them stuff that they never wanna hear.* Most of them will be sceptical at first *klw slh eja,maap ye.hee~* Then another 2 or 3 days they would come back and say "You are right / Ko btol la...." I don't like being right about awful stuff but somebody gotta tell them the whole truth right?

Once,a girl yelled at me coz I helped her by telling the truth. She was seeking and nagging me for the answer every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY people! *she even disturbs my nap time & reading novel time.that is unacceptable!* So,I told her the truth & nothing but the truth and she couldn't accept it. Suddenly,I became the bad person. I became the inconsiderate one. Ok,the inconsiderate part is slightly true coz I didn't even like her. hehe. But me hating her doesn't make me tell her the truth right? I told her coz somehow,I CARED.

Yeah,that's just how life works out to be. You'll never know what you are getting into. You'll never know how it will turns out to be. && the most difficult part of all,you'll never know what to EXPECT!


when that word pops in my mind,I get all sorts of ideas. You know why? coz it's subjective. Sometimes we thinks that dot3 is pretty,but others won't agree. and vice versa. So is anybody wrong here? The answer is N to the O = NO!

Ever heard the saying "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder"? I couldn't agree more. To me, having a pretty face,body or skin doesn't imply that you are beautiful. Ok ok,it does meant that you are but it doesn't make you beautiful in MY EYES. Beauty to me, runs skin thick && it's more than meets the eye. BEAUTY IS PERSONALITY. You can fake your face with heavy make up. You can cover your body with fashionable clothes *no offense to anyone.just making a point here* but you can NEVER. and I mean NEVER NEVER EVERRR cover up bad attitude!

To think that people are beautiful only by seeing their appearance is shallow coz you need to know that person more to know the real deal. *again,my own opinion* Then you will see the truth that they hide behind their pretty lil face. I say this through experience. Most people that I've met tend to show their COLOURS after a while. Have you met these kind of people? I bet you have. And these are the people that aren't a beauty in my eyes.

Don't judge a book by it's cover is another good saying coz you never know what lies within. but when you meet with a beautiful people,KEEP them! What the hell are you waiting for? haha. Those people are hard to find nowadays. Like they somehow vanished through thin air and go hiding in their own world and only that extra special people can meet them.

So grab on to what you are holding,and hold to them tight. Coz whatever that may happens,what mess you might crawl into,You know that they got you back!

As for me, I already got my beauties. && I am never letting go. *wink wink*

First cake!


Last thursday I went to aunty rahmah's house. We were supposed to help her with her cakes but end up cooking everything in between! haha.It was a lot of fun & I really learned a LOT! Bake my first cake *I am totally excited it came through* It was a carrot cake. Although many veggie-haters out there were thinking "EUW" when they read this,but it was actually tasty.It was the first time i tasted it.with the lemon frosting on top,whew,it was awesome. ok ok. I almost sound like i'm bragging.haha.but u must *And i mean,MUST* taste it to believe it. I know some ppl might not agree with me,well that's just life. If u DO like it,let me know k? We can bake it together. *wink wink*

ok ok. this is the last pic. i promise. *in this post btw.haha*

TAYLOR! owh swift..

She's got talent,bubbly & down-to-earth personality,with a gorgeous face to go along with it. What more is there? The first time that i ever heard of TAYLOR SWIFT is when i'm in form 3. I was cutting my celebrity pictures when i came across her name. and so i read the story. Right then,she just won a competition. I don't know why but I became her fan right then. She was not famous back then and nobody even HEARD of her name. She's a talent all right! She can sing,play guitar and piano too. OMG. She got no flaws *in my eyes* . I know she doesn't even know i exist but i still adore her. Hope that her personality will stay that way and not turn into a diva.
She's FREAKINGLY famous and it's hard not to fall in love with her songs and even HER!! I absolutely *crazy.addicted.hopelessly* love her songs. The first song that captured my attention was OUR SONG. ahaha. i can talk about her on and on and on but i think i better stop now.*smile*

look at her BEAUTIFUL pics. arghhhh...i wish i was that pretty * i know i know.i'm totally grateful lahh*

OUR SONG lyrics

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart

I look around, turn the radio down
He says, ?Baby is something wrong??
I say, ?Nothing I was just thinking
How we don't have a song? and he says

Our song is the slamming screen door
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
'Cause it's late and your mama don't know

Our song is the way you laugh
The first date man, I didn't kiss her and I should have
And when I got home, 'fore I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again

I was walking up the front porch steps
After everything that day
Had gone all wrong or been trampled on
And lost and thrown away

Got to the hallway, well, on my way
To my lovin' bed
I almost didn't notice all the roses
And the note that said

Our song is the slamming screen door
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
'Cause it's late and your mama don't know

Our song is the way you laugh
The first date man, I didn't kiss her and I should have
And when I got home, 'fore I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again

I've heard every album, listened to the radio
Waited for something to come along
That was as good as our song

'Cause our song is the slamming screen door
Sneakin' out late, tapping on his window
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow
'Cause it's late and his mama don't know

Our song is the way he laughs
The first date man, I didn't kiss him and I should have
And when I got home, 'fore I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again
Play it again, oh, yeah, oh, oh, yeah

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin
And I wrote down our song

My own blog!

waahh..the day actually came! haha.my 2nd blog oredi.The first one is kinda a secret *but im blowing my cover by mentioning it here* so,no more! fullstop on the first blog.hee~

I'm not good with words so i can understand if many of u will not get what my real point is.But bear with me.Everybody got the right to have their own opinion right? *wink wink* so ENJOY reading pals ;D