I just can't take it anymore

I went home today and didn't expect to see my lovely cat,zorro to be suffering. He was diagnosed of having stone and should have it removed. I don't know the procedure but when I went home this afternoon,he was already in stiches. and also blood. He couldn't move. And he SHOULDN'T move. But he is just a cat. How can he understand that he was supposed to be resting and take his medicine. It was so hard watching he suffer. At first,I can still handle it. But seeing him move along with the pain,made me feel all his emotion *i know he's just a cat!* Then later tonight,which is just 5 minutes before I wrote this entry,I went to the kitchen cause I wanted to see how he was doing. He was crying *I know I can't understand him but I just felt it in my heart* and it that did it! I broke down crying in front of his cage. I'm not the type who likes to cry and so,THIS is a bit emotional for me. I can't bear the thought of losing him. Even he is just a cat,he have been with me all the time *when I'm at home*. He always came to me and sleep in front of the couch while I'm watching TV. And he knows when I'm sad and so,he would come and cuddle. I know it may sound rather foolish to certain people but to me,he IS important. He is my family and forever will be. I just hope that he will recover SOON. VERY SOON. For any of you reading this,please pray for his health. It would be a real help for me. Thank you very much.

*warning* this entry might have some gibberish talk

Don't u just envy someone who can wear almost anything and still looks good in it? Well,I do! Some people are just born with perfect figures,perfect aura,perfect attitude *haha.u know what i meant* They can pull off anything and people would still love them anyway. Sometimes I envy them but most of the time, I just HATE them. ngahaha. Jealous much. For instance,you make some trouble together but you were the only one who'll get blame for it. WTH?? Their "persona" seems to dazzle everyone around them. And so,people always neglect the fact that they ARE doing something wrong. As for the fact that they can wear the most ugly stuff and still looks HOT in it,well,I blame it on their D.N.A.But some people just wear their cloths with their attitude. Do you know what I mean? Ok. ok. It's like this. They most probably don't have the prettiest face and body but somehow when they wear something,they make the item looks like it's made just for them. How I wish I can pull it off like that. haha. I don't think I can do that and sell garments. LOL. There's always something wrong with what I wear and it's not the clothes fault. It's ME. I seems to lost my X factor somewhere in the sea. someone please find it back and send it to me so that I won't look like a total mess. hahaha. *as if I even HAD it* Waah. such nonsense I'm blabbering about right now.

T____T

New experience

I never worked before. and it's NOT because I'm too lazy or whatever. It's jz bcoz my ummi is quite protective. huu~ I don't know where I got the idea from but I am now running a business. *chewaahh.sounds so fancy* hahaha. I always love to sell item to people and recommend good stuff or places to others but never knew there's actually a work for it. haha. And it's actually can provide me SOME money *not many k.some* Although it is not so profitable but I like it cause I'm learning and evolving. I got to try something new from different perspective. Before this,I love to took the time to compare the prices and search for cheaper price. and then I'll get better bargain. But now,I can make an income out of it. How awesome is that?! haha. But I have to admit la. I'm always a C>H>E>A>P>SHOPPER. hahaha.I was brought up that way and I'm proud of it *wink wink* But there is a negative thing going on here cause now,I can't think of anything else other than my business! haha. If I'm not a student,thet wouldn't be a big of a problem. In fact,it is a criteria of a will-be-successful-entrepreneur. But since I'm a student,it doesn't give me much advantage as I have to focus on my studies first. huu~ The only advantage that I gain is the income & experience. But who knows,it might be what I needed in the future.

Right?

Friends,you say?

Ever heard the term "friends for life"? How many of you have find your true friends? haha. It's easier to pronounce than to actually find one. I'm glad i've found mine. & I'm glad I realize it before it's too late.

Once upon a time,looong ago,I used to be in groups of friends.Skipping one to another group just to fit in. The problem is,I fit in with ALL of them. But the issue here is,once I was in their GROUP,they felt like I was their's and I couldn't be friends with other people. That is totally childish rite? I love to make friends and so naive at that time. So I never even KNEW that I was their group or whatever. I made friends with everyone around me. Although i'm not that friendly,haha. But the problems arrise as some of them don't like what they see or what they heard. And then they will go and talk behind my back. *as if i don't know laa*

Those were difficult times coz nobody dared to be honest. And so,I knew right then that they are NOT my friends. As a friend,we need to be honest with each other. Maybe SOME white lies are in order and acceptable but TALKING BEHIND each other's back aren't cool. At all! Saying awful stuff doesn't make the person feels better either. Talk to your friends gently and resolve the matter. It is not so hard you know? You don't need to be childish and immature. Friends are supposed to KNOW their friends well enuff to know how they are gonna react if you said something. *wow,now i sound like pakar motivasi* and Friends are supposed to know the honesty and criteria of of their own friends. If there are a black sheep in one of ur "friends",cast them aside coz they are NEVER gonna change. Batu api is never good in a relationship and most of all,FRIENDSHIP.

But it was all long time ago and I have learnt so much since then. I now know the diamonds within the sands. So it's no use to fool me again. My friends are for keepers and they are the treasure that i adore. For haters out there, I may not be as pretty,skinny,rich,clever etc etc as you are,but at least I got something that u'll never have. HONESTY.

dissappointed

You were supposed to be there when i needed u. but u weren't. Instead,u let go of my hands long time ago. I only ask for my own right and somehow you blame me. you put all the insults and shove it to my face. You should have known better than to break a heart. I have no faith in you anymore and don't you dare blame me for what happened! You were supposed to be wiser than me. After all,you have travelled the world and you are a religious man. DISSAPPOINTED beyond words.

p/s : xde kne mengena ngn bf ak.haha

the holidays are ending *SOON* and I just dun wanna go back. hahaha. Soo typical ME. Living at home means more veggies & TV time. spending time wit my family (Ummi,lil sis n big bro). Not to forget my kitties time. Aww. I'm surely gonna mish them! wanna see their pic?
Zorro is sleeping peacefully in my arms.haha.mcm bantal je ak nih!

Jojee wat aksi manje die. mke innocent jek! ;p

Tadaa~ ni la my kitties. manje n nakal. && love to pose for the camera! Soo NOT like me. huhu


Moving on with my post,I really dunno what to babble about but i just wanna write sumthing.hahahaha.What to do after i reached melaka? here's the list. hehe

1. Watch Eclipse
2. Wait for Avatar (legend of Aang) to come out
3. Meet HIM

opps! probably should put him 1st rite? hahaha. ok2.. revise it..

1.Meet HIM & frenssss
2.Watch movie(S) together
3.Have fun & lotsa laugh
4.Stu-DIE-ing :'(

I'm not looking forward to num 4! hahahaha. But as always,I'll manage it somehow.

New resolutions? NO MORE DRAMAS! Whoever gets in my way,I'll jz pretend lk they dun exist. My life would be SOO MUCH BETTER without you & ur pathethic nonsense. This sem,I'm gonna spend it wisely with the ones who truly cared about me. & we are gonna billions n jillions of funs together. *wink wink*

Have you ever..

Have you ever wonder about the world?

Why there are so many things that human take for granted. Such as trees,animals,environment,clean water etc,etc. *wahh..somehow i can't stop but feeling like a speech-er.LOL* We all live in this world every second,every minutes and every hour without having to pay for our clean air and water. Do you ever wondered what it would be like if we were to pay for every breath that we take?? OMG! That would be a disaster. But that thought have came to my mind before. And truly,I'm AFRAID. Have you realised that every thing use money nowadays? *of coz u have but i still want to ask.hee~* And it wouldn't be a big surprise if SOMEDAY,we would have to pay for EVERYTHING.

Have you ever feel alone in bed?

When your world goes wrong and nobody's there with you and you can't help to feel alone. Your worst thought came to mind and you curl in your bed wanting it to just go away. But it doesn't. Your mind wonders about so many things until you can't sleep anymore or IF you do fell asleep,you got that nasty nightmare.









Have you ever wonder about your food?

You were eating some delicious meal at a cafe and you think "this food is awesome! I wish I can cook like this!" *usually my thoughts.haha* You think about the ingredients all those not-so-important-stuff-to-think-while-you-were-eating thingy.

Have you ever cried or smile because a song?

While you were jumping happily when you're in love OR when you are sad beyond words..then suddenly a song plays that fits perfectly in your situation. And you smile,blushing OR cried weepingly because the lyrics are too perfect for what you are feeling at that EXACT moment. The words just came out like you would've said it. And you wish you could.


So,have you ever?